I regularly see grooms struggling as they say their wedding vows — fighting back the tears of emotion. In this public declaration of love for his bride, the groom chokes sniffles and feels embarrassed. Here’s some advice to help you handle this precious moment.
First off, there are two places in the wedding ceremony where I see grooms express their emotions. The first is when he sees his beautiful bride come down the aisle. However, it is when he says his vows that the groom most often becomes overwhelmed and begins to tear up.
Men aren’t typically used to public displays of emotion and may feel embarrassed. However, this is the time to show how you feel about your bride.
In dealing with my own feelings on public display, here are three ways I’ve learned to manage my emotions so I can continue functioning.
- Rehearse: I advise grooms to speak their vows out loud before the ceremony. It’s when they say their vows for the first time that the grooms tend to feel this up swelling-up of emotion that overtakes them. Whether you are repeating after the officiant or reading your own vows, take the time to practice beforehand.
- Pacing: This is your time. When you sense the emotions bubbling up, slow down and take a breath. Smile at your bride before you continue. This isn’t a race to get to the end. Enjoy your moment.
- Relax: It is OK to show emotion. Take Scott (above). He couldn’t help tearing up while repeating his vows to his bride, Jaime. I coached him to breath, relax and slow down. You need to accept your emotion and admire its beauty. This is why you are marrying her – because she makes you feel this way. Your expression of how you truly feel for her is what will be remembered and what makes this day special. Anchor and treasure this.
I often tear up when I perform wedding ceremonies. It’s a wonderfully emotional time for a couple that spill over to everyone in attendance. Yet, I must continue performing the wedding ceremony for the bride and groom.
I used to feel awkward about my display and how it affected my delivery of the wedding ceremony. Now I’ve learned that it adds to the meaning of the words I say for the couple. It is even more so for the groom. Your love shines through giving everyone a memorable ceremony.